We are back.
This is My favorite one thus far, can’t wait for you to do it!
I hope you enjoyed the last Homework Assignment, as much as I did. Writing down your bucket list, hopefully it made you dream even bigger than you imagined you could.
When I completed my bucket list and read over it, it encouraged me to realize how many things I have completed. It also filled me with excitement and anticipation on how many things I have to look forward to during my lifetime. Hopefully you felt encouraged as well.
Make sure to keep your Bucket List because we will be revisiting it in our next Homework Assignment. 🙂
Homework Assignment #3
Compliments is what the next Homework Assignment is called, but it is a very vague title.
This assignment is more concerned with: If the specified person in your relationship said these words to you it would be the ultimate compliment. It is pertaining to if you heard these words you would know you have been successful in the relationship.
It seems very narcissistic or manipulative but just go with me on this one. I am more concerned with becoming this person. Who do I want to be in a relationship? It also reminds myself to not become lazy in familiar relationships but to continue to put in the effort relationships require.
Liken it to, if you want people to say you are generous or if you think you are generous, you may have to start opening that wallet of yours and giving away your hard earned money.
One of my friends when talking about his wife not liking to spend money he said, “When she opens her pocketbook she has to push back the spider webs to get to her money.” He was an older gentleman, hence the pocketbook reference. But I loved his way of saying it.
Another example is the story of Abraham in the Bible. If you are unfamiliar with this story, let me give the highlights. God made a promise to Abram, telling him not only would he have a child even in his old age but he would be called Abraham now. Abraham means father of many nations, but yet many years passed before Abraham had his child. Yet for years he was called the father of many nations.
Think about it: if every time someone said your name, it was reminding you of who you were going to be, but not yet who you were. Reminding you how you still did not have a child, but God was faithful and gave Abraham a son.
Later, he asked him to sacrifice him but that story is for another day.
It is an assignment to see where you need to improve in certain relationships or maybe where you need some healing.
Ten is the number.
It is a great number because it encompasses many of the important relationships in our life. I added a few fun ones, as well. Ten being an even number is perfect for me because when I make a list. It always needs to be ten.
Now, that you have seen the list. Get to work. Get to writing. Use your beautiful brain.
No, just kidding 🙂
Take some time. I had to think about mine for a little while.
Once I had thought about it for a few days while doing regular activities. Obviously, not sitting in a room dwelling on it. Just something in the back of my mind during the day to think about for a moment then continue on with what I was doing.
When I started writing them down, most of them came to mind pretty quickly. Others I had to think about for a little while. Do what fits best for you but think about it. I liked to imagine myself having the conversation with the particular person.
-Even if you don’t have some of these relationships in your life, go ahead and write them down. Example I have no children yet, but I still wrote down the compliment I wanted to hear them say to me. It gave me vision for what kind of mother I want to be. What I want them to learn from me, what ideals or moral compass I desire for them to possess.
-Also, I am currently actively seeking out my celebrity crush to make him my husband so I wrote down my husband’s one as well.
My version of the list. Almost every one of them had a little prick to my heart. Rather it be a good one or one that I know I need to work on. But I throughly enjoyed imagining each and every one of these conversations. Maybe it is the writer in me and how I love to use my imagination but when I pictured it, it almost felt real.
Like when you watch a movie and the guy finally tells the girl he loves her. Or when the character who has been seeking revenge and instead of taking his revenge he releases the person. Forgives them.
Picture what it would be like to have this person say these words to you. It will reveal more about who you are and how you see yourself in the relationship.
Who do you want to be?
Or it may encourage you that you are doing well in this relationship.
Anyways, let me know what worked for you.
When I thought about what I wanted God to say to me, it was good. It brought a smile to my face.
Welcome, I have been waiting for you. You did it!
I imagine God as my father, he was excited to see his daughter. I also pictured him being encouraging, you did it. Woohoo! You ran the race. You finished!
One thing which reaveled itself to me while completing this one. Was what I really want in a future spouse. I think those of us who are single have an idea of what we want, specific personality traits or certain physical attributes, but when I wrote mine down it was not what I thought I would write.
My words basically were,
You are a better choice than I knew. I am constantly amazed by all the conversations we have and you are a wonderful mother.
My surprise came from the actual words I wrote down. They were not filled with romantic sentiment, even now as I read them later. I know they are the words for me.
The words to me reveal much more about me than my partner per se. For as long as I can remember I have wanted to be loved for my mind. To be interesting and be able to continue to have conversations with the person I am going to spend the rest of my life with. It has always been super important to me.
I don’t only want them to find me interesting and full of many stories, but to be amazed that we can still not know everything about each other. I still surprise him as I want to be surprised by him. I want to listen to his stories that made him who he is, his intelligence, his experiences, memories, aspirations, dreams and everything else. This is what I am looking for.
After doing this assignment, my HB (homework buddy) told me I should tell my mother how she has always encouraged me and told me how amazing I am. This may be genetically placed in my mother or all mothers but my mother is a great encourager. When writing this one down, I realized my mother had told me everything I have ever wanted or needed to hear from my mother. Probably even more. 🙂
So, later while driving in the car, I told her. Told her how amazing she is and how she has not held back anything and let me know exactly how she feels about me.
An important observation-I felt after completing this assignment, I had homework to do. This could be true for you as well. If you feel there is something you need to tell a person you pictured while doing this. Do it. Dead man tell no tales and we want to be able to say to the people in our lives how we really feel about them. If you can’t do it in person write a letter. Everyone loves getting a letter.
My father and I’s relationship is more challenging. I am not sure if it is because we are similar in personality and this causes the clash or if it is because we view things completely differently. I know my father loves me and is proud of me. But he is not one to express it or voice it often, maybe on your birthday and normally only in a card.
Recently, since writing my book, I will every once in a while share ideas or different things about my characters. A few months ago AFI (American Film Institute) recognized and honored John Williams’ life’s work, he is a composer who even if you don’t know his name you can hum many of his scores. While I was applauding all of of Mr. William’s work, my father turned to me and said “You better hurry up and finish that book of yours so John can compose your music for it.”
My heart filled with love. He believes in me! Even if it never happens he believes in me. I worked on my book even harder that day.
Skipping a few to the next one.
For this one I actually had a specific person in mind, really a couple.
I taught you everything I know, and you have gone farther than I ever did.
I didn’t hear these specific words but it was what I wrote down. This couple encouraged me deeply and knowing who they are they would want me to go even further than they did. Hopefully, I will achieve it. I better get to work.
This one was one of my favorite.
You inspired me to have the courage to pursue my dream. To push myself all the way to the end for my art. Push myself beyond even my own boundaries.
To me it doesn’t matter if it is a student, a fan, or someone you are mentoring. My biggest thing is I want to be the kind of person who encourages you and pushes you to your limits. It is not important if you find amazing success or awards but that you pushed yourself beyond your boundaries and did your best. You left this life with something tangible. Rather it be art, or helping others, an idea which changes peoples minds, or maybe raising amazing children who make the world a better place.
(On a side note, being a parent is a hard job and it is an important job. You are doing great. It is important. It is valid. It is good.)
I am a firm believer in if you do your best it is good enough. You may not find success necessarily with money, fame or power whatever you consider success to be. But if you do your best, your absolute best it is good enough because it’s all you can do. Therefore you are successful.
My HB’s was different than mine. She actually, well I am telling her story hopefully it is close. She was at a place where people had actually left fan letters to a particular writer she opened one and read it. (it’s okay you were allowed to do it.) Anyways she said the letter roughly (since it was in a different language) said, “You changed my heart and my life. You make me want to live again.”
How profound that someone’s art could actually change someone’s life and encourage them during a difficult and challenging time.
Now, the fun one. 🙂
Mr. Timberlake. I had to have him in here. If you are wondering. No he is not my celebrity crush but I do love him.
This one is probably the most far fetched one I had in my imagination.
Let me describe it for you.
I am attending an amazing party with beautiful lights, food, ambiance, then across the room I see none other than him, Mr. Justin Timberlake. He sees me too and as he walks over my most favorite dance song comes on. You know the one, it is the one that no matter your mood or what you are doing you must dance when you hear the beat.
He comes over, bypasses everyone and chooses me saying. “Dance with me?”
Maybe I should write junior high fan fiction. I may have a talent for it.
Of course in this fantasy I can dance amazingly well, even in my high heels.
WHAT I LEARNED
Over all, this was an encouraging experience for me. It also motivated me to be a better version of myself. Not to try and trick these people to say certain things to me but for me to work on myself. Work on being someone who helps and encourages people to pursue their dreams. Training myself to go further than my mentors went.
It is so easy when we are in familiar and permanent relationships to not give them the best version of yourself. We all do this, it is why with family we can get away with so much more than any other relationship. It is not a reprimand more of a helpful nudge to examine your current relationships and see where you are excelling and where you may be lacking.
IF there is someone specific where you felt that prick in your heart to have a conversation with which may be difficult, I still recommend doing it.
We can all makes things right in our lifetime. Maybe you need to forgive someone or tell them you love them.Forgiveness is huge. Even if they don’t apologize sometimes we need to forgive.
Another quick tip; forgive yourself. Not sure why but that came into my head as I was writing this. Forgive yourself too. You can still do many things with your life. Many things. Don’t be discouraged.
That is it folks. I loved doing this one. Make sure you complete it. Tell me how it went? What did your homework buddy have to say? Were any of your answers similar? Who was your celebrity crush? What did they say?
Have fun with it.
Let me know in the comments below.
See you next time.