It is Valentines, or it was yesterday. A little late but Valentines is celebrated all month long. Right?
To my amazement, and trepidation my most popular blog was my Self-Helpish one I posted a few weeks ago.
Let me explain why I used the word trepidation. I view human relationships different than most. For me, I want to experience a meaningful conversation with you. A heart connecting, deep dark secret sharing, wildest dreams, irrational fears and odd idiosyncrasies with you long before we joke around or pick on each other.
It is odd, I know. I am working on it but it will forever be my preference. Most people after they get to know me they seem to always say, “You are much more fun than I would have thought.” I always smile because I know it is because we have gotten to know one another now. Therefore, I am more relaxed, I know them, I will joke around and have a good time because I understand them.
Honesty and Vulnerability
Honesty is something that comes natural to me. If you ask me a question I’m going to tell you the truth.
If the question is extremely personal, I will still tell you the truth. As long as we are face to face. On the other hand, I become extremely annoyed when other people tell my business to everyone.
I am a private person. Even on Facebook, which contains people I personally know and have met in real life. It is difficult for me to share anything really personal because for some reason I don’t want anyone knowing anything about me even when it is good things. Strange, I know. Truthfully, I think I would more likely tell you something that makes me look worse than that which makes me look better. Who knows why I do this? I am sure a trained professional could diagnose me but for now we will let it be.
Luckily, I am working on it. So, with that said I am writing a blog. A personal blog about my life experiences, rather they are good, bad, painful, and even embarrassing.
Preferably I would love to only write about movies you should see, books you must read, writing tips, and the joy of traveling places.
However, the facts say otherwise even though writing self-help kills me. It makes me feel as if I am telling everyone I know it all, I have everything figured out, even maybe exposing someone in my life. The biggest challenge is I never want to sound like I am bragging. I want to help in anyway I can. Simply if one thing I say helps you in anyway no matter how big or small it is worth it.
It seems the only way I can help you is with my own life experiences. Therefore, here is my second Self-Helpish Blog post. Returning by popular demand.
Happy Freaking Valentines Day!
Yep, you are alone.
All right it is Valentines. The holiday that creeps up in the middle of February to remind you that you are in fact single, because Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years did not do that enough for you.
When you were finally moving on past the holidays, making it past the dreariness of January, focusing on the future. It smacks you in the face everywhere you go. The smell of flowers in the stores, everything turns red and pink, the cushy stuffed animals appear, delicious chocolates at every turn. The adorable Hallmark commercials on every television channel, the good old world is informing you again. You’re alone.
Valentines it is the only holiday that magnifies you are alone. No other holiday even comes close to this one. It screams at you at every turn to let you know you are alone.
Nobody is going to write a specially long post on your social media profile saying how wonderful you are, how they could never imagine loving someone this much, how each passing year it gets better and better and that there is no one in this entire world who would be better for them.
Newsfeeds will be flooded with pictures of happy couples, the gifts they give each other, flowers, candy, balloons, stuffed animals.
You begin to ask yourself “Will the madness stop?” Will it stop screaming at me over and over? ALONE. YOU ARE ALONE.
Do you have the picture forming in your mind? It doesn’t take any imagination at all does it? For the most part everyone has at least one social media profile and I am positive it replicates my own on this special holiday in February.
(I know I am painting a droll picture but keep reading it is going to get good.)
Holidays and I.
Holidays since age sixteen have been challenging for me.
When I was a little girl I remember playing house. I imagined meeting a wonderful man, having a wedding and then having babies. I was so excited about this I couldn’t wait until I was older. It seemed like it would never happen. Why couldn’t I grow up sooner? Why did I have to be a little girl? When would I get to be a grown up?
Babysitting many children in my lifetime I learned a few things. It didn’t matter how good you are at your job (I was fantastic) they always wanted their mother. Everyone always wants his or her mother. Myself included as an adult if I am in horrible pain I want my mother. And pain pills, strong pain pills, but mostly my mother.
When the children would cry out for their mother, I would have this exact thought. I can’t wait until I am the mother and they only want me. I will be the mother for whom they are calling. :0)
As life goes though, I am single. Children are amazing and my deepest desire is to have them within the framework of having a husband to share them with.
Painting this picture of attending every family function as a party of one is hard. If you at least have a significant other there is hope for a future family together. But when it is only you that hope tends to grow thin.
On previous Valentines in my life I would mope. Grabbing chocolates I would lie on my couch and watch romantic movies all day. Which if anyone knows anything about throwing a pity party this is a great technique to enhance the experience.
For quite a few years I did this but not recently.
To help myself from having this sort of pity party again I did a few things to help myself.
Nothing throws you out of a funk like working. Your mind does not have time to think about all these things because you have pressing duties in front of you. For me it was working in a restaurant which when you are on a wait for five hours nothing is consuming your mind except, I am tired, hungry and when is this night going to end!
- AVOID ROMANTIC MOVIES AT ALL COSTS.
Watching “The Notebook” over and over ain’t gonna help anyone. I am telling you this is true. If you watch it and feel great afterwards, good for you. Although, I have a suspicious feeling in a few hours, or days you won’t feel so wonderful. Therefore don’t watch them, watch a comedy or a murder mystery. If they really affect you don’t watch any romantic movies all month. See if it changes the way you feel about being single.
- FRIENDS LOVE DAY.
My favorite, we all have friends and everyone at least has a few friends who are single even if it is only for a few days. (We all have friends like that) Throw a party! Grab all the cute Valentines themed party favors and get together and eat, play games, talk about what love losers you are, whatever. Have fun and enjoy the holiday.
Valentines Day 2017
Recently, I had to move home with my parents for various reasons. And with my back injury and the challenging last year I had it would have been easy to fall into the pity party style. Maybe even find a way to celebrate it more like stay in my bedclothes all day.
Opportunity had other plans and came knocking in the form of a phone call. My sister in law called me and asked if I would like to help deliver flowers this Valentines Day. Contemplating it, I mulled over the possibilities of delivering flowers to women all day. Would it make me happy or a little sad that I would not be receiving any?
Without hesitation my answer was YES. Working always seems to be more fun on a holiday and the money would be nice too.
I bought myself a red shirt to prepare for the day and decided it was going to be a great Valentines Day.
Driving to the flower shop on Valentines I felt hopeful I had a fun day ahead of me. Loading my car to the brims with bouquets and arrangements of flowers while listening to love songs all day didn’t in the slightest make me gloomy. It was perfectly fine. Actually better than fine, it was a delight to bring flowers to women and see the joy on their faces upon receiving flowers.
The Treasure of the Day.
Mid afternoon a downpour hit, I took a quick break waiting for the rain to lessen. I decided to skim Facebook, (which I had contemplated earlier about avoiding all day) I’m glad I did because I found this treasure of a post from one of my friends who had just had a baby boy.
So, I’m sitting here at 5:30 in the morning watching my baby boy. As I watch him looking around trying to figure out this new world around him, I keep wishing someone was awake to share him with or show him off to. I am so proud of him and he is only one day old. He has never really had to do anything to make me proud. I am just proud because he is mine and a perfect reflection of Gods love on this Valentine’s Day and I can’t help but think this is the way God sees us. We too are looking around and searching for ways to figure out this world around us and as he watches us each morning with new mercy he is eager to share us, show us off or do something special in our lives. If I as an earthly father am feeling this towards my son how much more proud is God of you and I as his children. We can’t do anything to make him proud of us, he just is proud of us because we are his kids. Happy Valentines Day everyone!
By Chris B.
Nobody may have written a post about how special I am or how loved I am. But this Facebook post from a friend touched me. It spoke to me and let me know my heavenly father is proud of me, I am his child, he loves me and he can’t wait to show me off to the world.
My heart swelled in my car at that moment, knowing God sees me, he knows me, and he loves me. A midst a holiday where you are supposed to have a spouse tell you how special and loved you are. I had the Lord tell me. In the midst of being in a car, filled with flowers for other people amongst the rain. I knew I was loved by my heavenly father.
Another part, which sealed this fact, is that rain has always spoken to me. I remember years ago I was in my garage waiting for my father to come and pick me up and the rain was so heavy I couldn’t see further than a few feet. In the moment of waiting the Lord brought this verse to my mind. Every time it rains so heavy I can’t see it reminds me of that day and this verse.
How precious to me are your thoughts, God!
How vast is the sum of them!
Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand.
When I awake, I am still with you.
Every single raindrop he is thinking of me. Like the grains of sand they are endless.
Another point from my friends post that spoke to me was how he wanted to show off his son. I felt the Lord saying to me, “Let me show you off. Let me show everyone how proud I am of you.” The only catch is: I have to be willing to let the Lord use me.
Therefore, here I am showing my exposed self, letting my heart be stretched open. Baring for all to see the inner struggles of my life and being completely vulnerable hoping somehow it speaks to you.
You are not alone. You are loved. You are wanted.
Read Psalm 139.
Happy Valentines to you all. May you feel loved and wanted not only on one day a year but also on all the days knowing your heavenly father loves you and is proud of you.
Word to the Wise.
When I meet my man and we fall madly in love. You just need to go ahead and unfollow me for the pure amount of photos I will be uploading to my social media profiles.
I hope I helped someone out there. What did yall do for your Valentines? Any more tips on what to do on Valentines when you are single? Comment below. I love hearing from you all.