It is Halloween. As all of you are dressing up, buying candy, putting the finishing touches on costumes, practicing your exclamation, “Trick or Treat!”
What I am doing?
You ask.
It is thrilling.
Truly thrilling.
I am deleting emails.
Yes, you read that correct.
To be exact I have deleted over 10,000 emails. In less than 24 hours.
FEAR.
The month of October is my least favorite. I do love all fall things, pumpkin patches, corn mazes, hot chocolate, boots, scarves, etc. But I despise Halloween. Always have and always will.
It is because I hate being scared. If you jump out and yell surprise, I will hit you. And yell for a while. And keep saying, “Why did you do that?!”
Jolting out of your skin and having your heart race, and your breath catch is not a fun to me.
Never watched a horror film, never read a scary book.
Even if watching a suspenseful movie, where you know the bad guy is going to jump out any second, I fast forward.
Yes, this is me, and I’m ok with it.
Fear is a powerful emotion, it causes you do many things, and to hold back many times. Fears causes you to pull back, when you should move forward. It motivates you, changes you and can either thrust you forward or debilitate you.
EMAILS.
Emails, having a strange loyalty to things, and thinking I may need them someday, I keep emails. Lots of emails. 12,527 to be exact.
Crazy! Right?
Emails from friends, wedding invitations, chapters of books, coupons, blog posts, pictures, plane tickets, assignments deadlines, it is the weirdest things.
As I read them, my life flashed before my eyes in the form of emails.
It all began in 2009. Nine years ago.
As I was reading the emails, I could almost hear the commentator, the one who does the movie trailers, saying over me,
A coming of age story of a young woman, entering her sophomore year of college. Her future full of anticipation, assignments awaited, romance to kindle, exploring adventures to unknown destinations, and learning life long truths from mentors along the journey.
Everyone’s life is a quest novel. It is up to us if we find the path, pass the tests, conquer our mission, and slay the dragon.
Four EMAILS
Assignments, there were so many, research projects, sermons, commentaries, the list went on. Skills, the skills I have studied am I using any of them?
For the hero to make his quest he must learn skills, they must be practiced, tested, and honed.
Gift, my unfinished writing projects, even though on a daily basis I question my ability to be a writer. If it is something I am or will ever be. If it is my gift am I destined to use it? Or it is just a dream that will never be brought to life?
The hero always has a gift, a special skill, or inheritance, but he must step into it and remember who he is and use his gift. Simba, think of Simba.
Advice. My pastor, and my professors, had written me emails and they were encouraging and also gave me a little kick in the pants.
Heroes, always have someone wiser, someone who has gone before them.
Painful Past. Emails, from men I was in love with, yep they were there, I think somewhere deep inside of me I knew they were there, but hadn’t looked at them in a very long time. For a moment they set on my screen, staring back at me, as the memories came, but you know what I did.
DELETE. Straight to the trash, do not pass go, do not collect 200 dollars, DELETE.
Didn’t even read them.
The Hero, must let go of the past, must let go of the pain, the anger, the revenge.
Are you using the skills you have?
Have you let go of the past?
Are you sharing your gift with the world?
Are you reaching your highest potential?
I’m preaching to myself here too.
Halloween is upon us and it is scary to let go of the past. It is scary to step into an unknown future. Comfort and safety are found in staying in the same place but I want to grow and move forward.
Whatever my quest may be, I want to do it.
Go on the adventure, let the fear of the unknown not stop me from packing my bags, leaving everything I know behind, and going after my quest.
Let me say it another way.
If you don’t dress up and go ask for candy. Will you get any?
Happy Halloween to all of you that love this day.
To the rest of us. . . . . BRING ON the Christmas Tree, Christmas music and all the Hallmark Movies Galore.
LucyDame 